Humor: Growing old

The best revenge we have upon the smugness of youth is knowing that the young will be old someday, too!

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. ~Doug Larson

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. ~Jim Fiebig

The years teach much which the days never knew. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing

There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. ~John Mortimer

Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative. ~Maurice Chevalier, New York Times, 9 October 1960

Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many. ~Author Unknown

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were? ~Satchel Paige

Be on the alert to recognize your prime at whatever time of your life it may occur. ~Muriel Spark

Father Time is not always a hard parent, and, though he tarries for none of his children, often lays his hand lightly upon those who have used him well; making them old men and women inexorably enough, but leaving their hearts and spirits young and in full vigour. With such people the grey head is but the impression of the old fellow's hand in giving them his blessing, and every wrinkle but a notch in the quiet calendar of a well-spent life. ~Charles Dickens

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. ~Caryn Leschen

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age. ~Victor Hugo

Years ago we discovered the exact point, the dead center of middle age. It occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush to the net. ~Franklin Adams

Everyone is the age of their heart. ~Guatemalan Proverb

There is always a lot to be thankful for, if you take the time to look. For example, I'm sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt. ~Author Unknown

Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim

There was no respect for youth when I was young, and now that I am old, there is no respect for age - I missed it coming and going. ~J.B. Priestly

I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown

Age is a high price to pay for maturity. ~Tom Stoppard

By the time I have money to burn, my fire will have burnt out. ~Author Unknown

We are young only once, after that we need some other excuse. ~Author Unknown

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. ~Judith Regan

The first half of life consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance; the last half consists of the chance without the capacity. ~Mark Twain

Grow old with me! The best is yet to be. ~Robert Browning

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith

Old age is fifteen years older than I am. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

The great secret that all old people share is that you really haven't changed in seventy or eighty years. Your body changes, but you don't change at all. And that, of course, causes great confusion. ~Doris Lessing

Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty - they merely move it from their faces into their hearts. ~Martin Buxbaum

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. ~Agatha Christie, news summaries, 9 March 1954

Whatever poet, orator, or sage may say of it, old age is still old age. ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm. ~Henry David Thoreau

They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote

Never use the passing years as an excuse for old age. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown

I spent my 30s fixing everything I broke in my 20s. ~Eddie Murphy

You're never too old. Unfortunately, you're always too young to know it. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

We turn not older with years, but newer every day. ~Emily Dickinson

Middle age is when a narrow waist and a broad mind begin to change places. ~Author Unknown

I don't do alcohol anymore - I get the same effect just standing up fast. ~Author Unknown

Age is just a number. Mine is unlisted. ~Author Unknown

I'm not 40, I'm eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom. ~H.L. Mencken