E-mail etiquette according to Lord Krishna

Received from Dr. Mohinder Thapar (Jan 2015):

Bhagvad Gita – E - Adhyaya 19 (recently added)

Arjun: Hey Vasudev, how can I do the most heinous and unpardonable act of forwarding E-mails that I receive, to my friends, relatives and revered elders.

Krishna: Paarth, at this moment, none of them is your friend or foe, relative or in-law, young or old and good or evil. You have no escape from following your Net-Dharma. Make haste to log on and send off E-mails to one and all. That is the only Karma expected of you and the Dharma you must follow.

Arjun: Hey Murari! Do not implore me to do something that  hurts my conscience and stirs my soul.

Krishna: O Kunti-Putra, you are caught in the vicious circle of Maya. In this material world, you are committed to no one except to yourself, your Dharma and your mouse.  E-mails have existed for the last 25 years and will remain long after you are gone. Rise above the Maya and perform your bounden duty.

Arjun: Lord Krishna, pray and enlighten me on how an E-mail is related to Maya.

Krishna: Vatsa, an E-mail is the 6th element in the universe – Aap, Vaayu, Jal, Agni, Aakaash and E-mail. It is at the same time animate and inanimate, living and dead beat. It overloads the system and fills up the hard disk. But it serves one great purpose. It leads people to believe that they are filling their time in an intellectual pursuit by reading and re-forwarding mails. It gives them a sense of achievement without investing their intellect and efforts.

Like the Atman that leaves one’s physical body and moves on to another, the E-mail moves from system to system and never gets deleted or dies.

Arjun: Great Giridhaari, kindly tell me what the true attributes of E-mails' are.

Krishna: Neither can fire burn it, nor air evaporate it. Neither can it be conquered nor can it be defeated. An E-mail is as omnipresent and immortal like your noble and eternal soul.

Unlike an arrow shot from your bow, many a time, the E-mail forwarded by you, will even return to you safely after some months or even years, allowing you to re-re-forward it to the same people.

Arjun: Great Saarathi, my salutations to you. You have opened my eyes to the cult of E-mail. I was lost in Maya and have been reading all the E-mails that I keep receiving and doing no other Karma. Now on, I will just press the "Forward" button without reading any of it and send it to all and sundry, friends and foes, relatives and in-laws, young and old. That will surely bring them to their knees in this epochal battle of Good against Evil, in Kurukshetra.

Krishna: Arjuna, victory or defeat is not in your hands. Do not ponder over the fruits of your labour. Just keep forwarding E-mails and make one and all go bananas reading it and you will have done your supreme duty.

Tathastu!